A Poem for My Husband

Please know that I did not write this poem. It was shared with me from another couple who had suffered a miscarriage recently.


A Father's Grief

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.

Author Unknown

If You Really Want To Know

There are a few blogs and videos that express this very difficult and alienating journey of infertility...and miscarriage. I posted a video link below, that you are invited to check out, if you really want to know how I basically feel about it all. For clarification, I did not create the video, it's simply one that I identify with.

To view the video at The Infertility Awareness Project website, just click on the title of this blog entry, or go to:

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Everything just "is"

Well, my mom's funeral passed and then my paternal grandmother passed away on July 1, 2010. My family and I went away to Banff, Alberta, Canada for a bit of a break and had a terrific time. We went hiking, on a horseback trail ride, whitewater rafting, cliff-jumping into a mountain river, and we rode a gondola to the summit of Sulpher Mountain. It is good to have some fun distractions...it is good to have something to do.

I would have been 18 weeks pregnant with Hope now...that's about 4.5 months...halfway through a full-term pregnancy. Although it's best to be born at full-term, babies have been known to survive being born before reaching 28 weeks...that would have been only 10 weeks from now. Time is a fickle thing.

When I remain busy with something, I have less time to muse about this disheartening spring. I am hoping and praying that God will be merciful and gracious, and that my husband and I will be blessed with a baby in the near future...but God knows. He already has a plan. I need to trust Him on this.