Have I been fooling myself? Have I been in denial?
I lost my baby 10 days ago. I honestly believed, just this afternoon, that I was on the road to recovery, stability, and healing. Well, I suppose that I am, but maybe not as far along that road as previously assumed.
Tonight, the sadness returns, and the tears along with it...thinking about life's struggles, burdens, and inequalities. I just don't understand...it seems (and is) that many people have so few problems and burdens, and others have so much. I know that there are multitudes of people who suffer more greatly than I ever have, but tonight I feel hurt...I feel like I'm suffering.
How long will this last? When will I know that I'm done grieving like this? When will the pain no longer be like a raw, stinging, open wound?
There are many things to think about right now, and some important choices to be made, in the near future. For now, I'm choosing to keep those specifics to myself. Perhaps I'll share them another day...perhaps. We'll see.
God, give me some direction here, please.
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We are praying and sending love and understanding for the pain you are feeling today!Please don't rush your grief. Somedays you will have a good hour and then the rest of the day will be difficult but one day you will realize many hours have been good. Did you note that I said one day not the next day. Jayne healing takes time. No wound you have had heals in an hour... may the bandaid of love cover your wound as you slowly heal today. We are here for you and care deeply.Time for a walk under my butterflies!
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